="My mAn"=

He’s just an ordinary man, who wanted to be succesful someday…

A man who has a great instinc..

Whose always ignoring those negative side..

A man who taught me

    to be strong..

    to be loved..

    to be wise..

    to be happy..

    to treat well others..

    to accept, whatever life bring me into..

    to lived life to the fulliest..

A man whom im proud with..

and he’s a man whose one of my treasure..

++ sAd sTorY oF MyLifE ++

I came from a separated family. I know it’s confidential to tell to public,  but I hadnt feel ashamed that anymore. After all the experiences I faced. I was seems a numb for pain. I never felt the love of a complete family. hahayy! it’s too sad. I never dreamt in my entire life to have a broken family. Maybe, it’s one of a reason why im like this, a sensitive, hot temper and have guilt in everything. I admit I had hatred for my family,because for me they did not mind my situation if how i’d be in my future….huhuhu.. I just want to be lived normal..I was the one who suffered this all… whatever i did to relieve the pain inside was just came nothing.. it’s like I have no right to be happy…huhuhu…I hope I’m wrong in expecting..

= "With and WithouT him"=

Without him mylife is mess…

Without him I’m incomplete…

Without him I wouldnt know how to be patience & to calm down..

Without him I cannot stand with my own feet…

If nobody be like him,

  I dont know what I am now…

Because..

With him, I learned to smile…

 With him,  I enjoyed a lot of things…

With him, i listened to his advice…

With him, I improved my self ability…

With him, he makes my life more meaningful…

That’s why..

  I love him so much and more, for showing his true color..

And that’s him my honey gHoNZe.

++It’s All Started frOm mY pAsT++

 I accept who I am. I admit what i’ve done. I’m not perfect you know! as well as nobodys perfect. I can do those bad things ’cause I’m just a human, a sinner and created of GOD. I regrets those time I made mistakes, even to say bad words to those whom I loved. i didnt mean it. God knows that. I just showing and shouting out my hatred inside. If they only know, it’s difficult for me to get through out into the real me. It seems I’m in prison, dont know the happenings of the outside world. I hope they’ed understand me. I was really trying to moved on from my past. And all I can do was seems nothing. I hurted person over and over again. I’m suffering this foolish life… Sooo damned life.. I want to changed, to have new life .. to be lived normal..

 Lord, I hope they forgive me.

++LeSSoN++

   I cried so hard when some things are not expected, not good for me or made me guilt. But why should I cry for my pride? As the songs lyrics says “Big girls dont cry”. It made me think twice that I have the right to stand up for my self. “Hello whendz!? i thought you’re strong?”. Some says I’m such a “Maldita” but  they dont know my weaknesses. No matter how ” Maldita” i am. I still felt lonely and scary. Maybe others think, my life was well and fortunate. What they dont know is I experienced a lot of difficulties in life. I made a lot of mistake. But after all, the important thing is I LEARNED.

++tHe iMpOrTaNcE oF LiFe++

  Life is beautiful. Full of challenges,sorrow,happiness..yet most precious of all.Without life,everything was nothing. It is very important to take care of our life, so that we may faced the peaceful rest and eternal life..

  Sometimes we attempted to kill ourselves for we dont like the life we have had. Just when we face difficult situation or trials. Mostly  we used to get doing bad things such as drugs,fraternity or sometimes suicideing. And that was so stupid deeds. For me, to have a good life is to thank God everyday for the blessings HE gave & to pray. All of a sudden praying is the most effective weapon against bad things & weaknesses. So keep praying to GOD and He’ll do the rest. Amen.

++ cLosEr tHaN wE kNoW ++

A friend is someone close to me. But I cannot think of any other person who has been closer to me than my mother. She is my Best Friend.

I recieved the gift of life in my mother’s womb. I was so helpless, she did everything for me. She breathed for me, ate for me, her heart beat into my tiny heart. Before I could even open my eyes, I saw the world through my mother’s eyes…. & I heard how beautiful it is from her voice. When the time came, she risked her own life & suffered all the pain bring me out into the world.

She was my first teacher who taught me what is right & wrong. She was a Real friend, who wanted only one thing - my happiness. 

This is for you ma.. I Love You!

++ cOunT oN hiM++

The biggest scare in my life is to be left alone by myself. It is not the dark i’m afraid of;  it’s just being all by myself when i cant manage single-handed.

When i’ve failed or made a big mistake & everyone is pointing an accusing finger at me, I need someone who will stand between the crowd & me & speak up for me. When something at home doesnt work as i expect & I go crazy over it, I need someone to cool me down.

When i”m discouraged & feel quitting, I need someone who’ll give me push. When i feel i cant carry all the burden all demands others impose on me, I need someones shoulder to lean on. When i’m all frowns, I need someone who’ll cheer me up.

And he was  already exist,

Thats why I thank God for bringing him into my life.  I Love You Hon!

..someone called friend..

         I can stand those fair-weathered friends who stick to me as long as Im OK. they’re the nicest people around as long as they can get something from me. But when I get in trouble or get broke, they disappear into thin air.

         A true friend is one who has passed the test of loyalty. He’s one who is a friend at all times. He sticks it out with me at all cost’s. Come hell or high waters.

         A loyal friend is rare; when found, he is a treasure gained.But when gone, hes a treasure lost in oblivion. but like any earthly treasure, even the most solid friendships are shattered by time, by distance, by separation..

…Dissaster….

       I hate admiring people, selfish, had no patience anymore, plans get lost, dont think positive, no more GOD in heart, this is all because of my PRIDE that I keeped inside. It made me guilty. Actually I’m not like this before. This is all started when the BIG trouble crossed my life. I was really down at that time. I think I’m going crazy. I can’t think well, almost mad everyday, my friends can’t understand me, I hated person. It seems like I’m alone at that time. I mostly say bad words, do bad things such as smoking and drink hard beverages, always say "BAHALA NA…". And mostly reasoning "I’m lacks of love of  my parents", "Nobody cares for me at all", Nobody appreciated my doing", They dont like me because im fat".

… I could say that was a BIG BIG disaster come in my life.

….Hay……I’m tired of being like this. I want to change, I want to live normal. 

…ExpresseD Me…

 Some people expressed me STRICT, UNAPPROACHABLE, UNFRIENDLY, and RICH! Because of on how I dressed, how I speak out to others and in my facial expression. Actually, I dont have any one among they say. They could only say that because that’s what they saw on me. What they dont know is I’m such a weak person. "I know how to handle myself, yet weak in dealing Life" . Many people not know me(including my parents, friends, relatives). As they see me SIMPLE, HAVE DREAMS, GOOD or could I say enough to be idolized by others(hehehe…good implement). But when thet know who tuely I am! I can surely imagine they’re first expression "STUPID". Honestly, I’m a sensitive person. I easily get mad, get hurt, get tired and bored. I dont want anybody disturb me, I want to be alone with enjoyment such as going out with friends, go others places, etc. In short I want peace and freedom. I usually shouted when I feel anger inside, it makes me better and that’s my way in easing anger. I am also careful in doing things because I dont want to blame.

….This  is hint for those person whoare interisted to know me…

…neeDing soMe1…

..I need person whos willing to understand me. In a way that could give me an advice, could make me a better me. Aside from GOD.. A person whos willing to

..CARE

..RESPECT  &

..LOVE   me the way I am.

…wHo am i really?…

…no oNe kNew me for whaT trueLy I am. Even my friends, reLatives, loVer and parenT’s, foR theY don’t know wHat I hardLy do, wHat I suffer with, and wHat I fight for.

…They even don’t know of my feeLings ’bout my situition and experiences.

…I easily get mad, many people noticed that. Seems Im a sky hiding the pain and hurts of thunder. And a tears of rain.

…They never noticed that, for they are not interested to know me at all…

"aLone"

..nobody’s proud of me, seems they leave me hanging by.. Nobody knew what i feeL inside and what i really want just to be happy.. They just see my physicaL not my emotionaL feeling..

..I could say that i am ALONE..

..No freedom, No Peace of Mind, and No Happiness..

..Some people looked me down, some may say that i am Easy, No Dignity and Future.

"The Lonely"

Sometimes i wanna cry out my long-kept-tears..but i’m scared that no one wiL bother to show some care..and that’s why i’ve decided to keep it all here..and i dont care if it will be too hard to bear..because sometimes….

..Even friends dont mind if you are in pain..as long as they see you smile,they’ll assume youre…

OK.

Thank You….

2 those ppolwhuv bin gud to me olthru ds yr, a big tnx…

2 thse hu broke my heart & tried 2 unnerve me, tnx anyway….I know, everything happens 4 a reason & whtever that is, i leave it up to HIM….

2 thse who hated me, or mybe in a way, cursed me, TNX…U mde me realize dt i am gud beyond my imprfctions….

2 thse whom i got offended in any way, im sori….

dis is me,LOVE me,Hate me..

I'm jz being MHE…

Foolish mind

I meet HIM when I got started on my first OJT. My first impression to HIM was HE is a strict person and HE is an olridy married,but then I got shocked when somebody told me that HE is still single.Will,directly to the point I got crush on HIM.WeeeeeeewW!He's olwez blinking on my mind..

I dont know what I felt now.I can't focus on my daily life for I olwez think on HIM.I have a boyfriend,yah I do..but why I olwez crazily think on HIM?Am I IN-LOVE on HIM?

WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahH….!

Can Define LOVE?

F all d science n world cud xplain everything?Cud PHYSICS xplain,y we fall n luv w/ sum1 w/o being affected by gravity?

And y cant LOGIC help us,2 make things ryt wen we r nluv?Wud CHEMISTRY  giv us d chemical elements of luv,n 8's formula?

Or cud ANATOMY and PHYSIOLOGY locate d scars n OUR hearts?

"Does DESTINY exist?"

it is not "destiny" that determines "love", it is "choice".our so called "destiny" is a lie…

relationships last long not because they're destined to last long.relationships last long because two brave people made a choice to keep it,to fight for it & to work for it.

meanwhile,other relationships fail not because they're destined to fail.they failed because one of the two, or both, made the choice to set each other free..

"FoolisH Life"

I'm not happy on my life.I felt I was just a messirable person living in this world.I dont know whats happening on my life now.I dont even knew my self.I might say that  "no one loves me",for the reason that no one knew what i felt inside.Even though i have lots of friends,i have special someone.But they're not enough for me to be happy.LORD GOD,please help me to cover up this foolish life that I feel now.I need YOURE guidance..I want to live normal life.